3 It also features an expansive 4.5K Retina display with 11.3 million pixels and over a billion colors, faster wireless connectivity, and a seamless experience with iPhone. 1 And for those upgrading from an Intel-based iMac, the new iMac is up to 2.5x faster than the most popular 27-inch models, 2 and 4x faster than the most powerful 21.5-inch model. iMac with M3 is up to 2x faster than the prior generation with M1. Thanks to the efficiency of Apple silicon, the new iMac delivers a huge leap in performance in its remarkably thin design and spectrum of seven vibrant colors that users love. The Breakdown: Too salty and savory out of milk, too vapid (but not soggy!) in it, Organic Purple Maize Flakes are better off glued together and mailed to Frito-Lay for recycling into Doritos than eaten as a breakfast.CUPERTINO, CALIFORNIAApple today unveiled the new 24-inch iMac featuring the amazing M3 chip, making the world’s best all-in-one even more powerful and more capable. The Bowl: Trader Joe’s Organic Purple Maize Flakes Maybe I’ll just make a bowl of ’em a permanent balcony fixture. Or, of course you could buy a more flavorful and nostalgic purple cereal that just so happens to be haunting a grocery store near you soon.īut hey, at least Organic Purple Maize Flakes look aesthetically pleasing. So my verdict presents a pretty tragic dichotomy: buy Organic Purple Maize Flakes and eat them dry (with or without salsa) if you want to munch a bowl of Honey I Shrunk The Tostitos!, or pour on the milk and add maple syrup, peanut butter, and/or soft-serve ice cream until you slather all memory of sodium chloride away. At least they stay crunchy for what I would I would extrapolate to be eons. I was quickly left with a pretty-looking bowl of pretty-flavorless, pretty-milk-infused flakes. And the addition of creamy milk did indeed balance the saltiness, but it also washed away any memorable toasty flavor this Trader Joe’s cereal had going for it. It seemed like pouring queso on these things would make more sense than milk, but I needed something sweet to balance the unexpected savory flavor of my Purple Maize Flakes, so I enlisted dairy reinforcements regardless. See, the saltiness of each Maize Flake spoonful only gets worse as you chew it, and they eventually start tasting like miniature tortilla chips-cheese-less purple Doritos, if you will. Peanut waiting behind a pirate at the hypertension clinic, and they’re the reason for my hasty Jeb Bush references. Reading other reviews should’ve warned me, but Trader Joe’s Purple Maize Flakes are salty. Wholesomely toasty but pretty lacking in sweetness (not surprising considering its 1 gram of sugar per serving), this toasty corn flavor-yes, it’s so toasty that I used that adjective twice (technically thrice now) in one sentence-devolves into something far less…cereal-y, as it’s chewed. The flakes are made of a corn and brown rice flour mix, so the bright maize notes are properly tempered by the browned grain’s mellower mash, but you certainly won’t be mistaking these for bran flakes. Once you get past the startling crunch, the Purple Maize Flakes’ titular, heartily toasted corn flavor emerges pretty quickly. See what I’m doing with these references? It’s called foreshadowing, and we’ll return to it shortly. The thick (or as the kids today are saying, “thicc” with an ever-increasing number of c’s) flakes have the supreme chomping power of a Taco Bell Crunchwrap and the smooth curvature of Jeb Bush’s still-infamous guacamole bowl. Heck, from the tightly bound box that opens with all the flair of a horror movie coffin lid to the hardy plastic bag that splits apart as satisfyingly as holiday wrapping paper, I’m surprised Trader Joe’s Organic Purple Maize Flakes didn’t smell crunchy. The most important thing first: these Barney flakes are crunchy. And it’s because I love the color purple so much that it took me until I got home from Trader Joe’s to realize the Hendrixian pun in this product’s name-I spent the entire car ride with visions of Grimace and Oprah all in my brain. (Staggering the releases of Heinz EZ Squirt and Doritos Rainbows by a decade and a half must’ve been a deliberate move by the junk food deities made for our protection.)Īnd it’s because I am such an oddball snack-loving goofball that I’m excited to try Trader Joe’s newest cereal: Organic Purple Maize Flakes. After all, I was (and pretty much still am) that weirdo kid who would’ve happily dipped his purple Doritos in purple ketchup had the two existed concurrently. Oh, what’s that? You say all four of those things have existed before? Deep down, I knew it all along. What’s next? Purple carrots? Purple Doritos? Purple ketchup? That’ll be the day!
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